A couple months ago, I was on my way back from meeting up with my sister at the half-way mark between her house and mine. We live about 3 hours apart and had swapped kids for the long weekend off school. We were meeting up to swap back. We enjoyed a chaotic lunch at chick-fil-a with about 7 kids (between the 2 of us) + a baby. As we sat there discussing the possibility of meeting up somewhere outdoors next time, I pulled up my weather app to check the forecast. It read completely clear for the next few days.
After our lunch, I loaded up my 3 kids ages 12, 9, and 6 (my 3-year-old had stayed home with his dad) and my 6-month-old nephew. I stopped to buy myself a new pair of sunglasses, after I sat on my old pair (like you’ve never done that). I pulled up my GPS and started home. A few minutes into the drive I got a call from my sister asking how the weather was where we were. I reported a few flurries and little blowing snow, but nothing to speak of (we’ve lived in MN our whole lives and knew a thing or two about driving in wintery conditions) She said, “that’s so weird. It’s complete white-out conditions here. I can barely see the car in front of me. It’s really bad.”
We were both on our vehicles Bluetooth, giving each other real-time weather updates (cause apparently, we’re that old). About 3 minutes later she says “Ha! And just like that. It’s over. That was weird.” As soon as she said that, the snow hit where I was. Apparently, she had driven out of the exact storm I was driving into. We continued small talk for a while, as I tried not to focus on how much I was straining to see where my lane was. Before I knew it, I had lost all visibility and the roads were completely covered with snow. I had slowed down to about 15 MPH on a 70 MPH highway because there was absolutely no traction. The snow had come in so fast, my defrost couldn’t keep up. Not only was the blowing snow affecting visibility, but the ice was building on my windshield too quickly for me to clear it.
I began looking for a safe place to pull over, but I couldn’t even see the side of the road. I glanced at my rear-view mirror to see my kids oblivious to the inherent danger we were in, completely captivated by the “Little Rascals” DVD playing in the background. I looked back at the road just in time to see break lights only a few feet ahead. I immediately slammed on my breaks, but the roads were completely iced over. No traction.
I remembered my husband telling me “when you realize you can’t stop, just pick a spot to land.”
I remembered my husband telling me “when you realize you can’t stop, just pick a spot to land.” There was no way I was stopping before I rear ended this car, so I swerved to the right and prepared to pick my spot to “land”. The problem was, I couldn’t see that far, and I was actually headed into a 6-car pile-up off of an exit. The only spot to “land” was one of the cars. I began pumping the breaks and under my breath, I whispered “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” (you know, just in case He didn’t hear me the first time). I immediately stopped about 2 feet shy of the back of the last vehicle in the pile up.
By this time, the kids were fully aware of our situation and beginning to panic. All I wanted to do was stay there on the side of the road, but I knew I would just be the next one to get hit. So, I hesitantly signaled to get back into the left lane and onto the highway. As I looked into my side mirror, I saw a semi- truck had stopped behind me, put his hazards on, and blocked the oncoming traffic – clearing me to get back on the road. I too, put on my hazards on in an attempt to at least let people around me know I was there. My knuckles were white, my palms were sweaty, and my face was beat red from flustration (That is a word, by the way – it’s where you’re so flustered, you’re frustrated).
I had no choice, but to keep going. It felt like I was the only person on the road, but I knew I wasn’t. I just couldn’t see anyone else, that was the scary part. I forced myself to take a few deep breaths and said a quick and desperate prayer “Ok, God. This is completely out of my control, but I know you are in complete control. You have to get us off this highway, or we are going to die.”
We drove for a few more minutes (I could have been on the middle of a frozen lake for all I knew) finally, I came up on another vehicle with its hazards on. I had no idea where this car was going, but at least it confirmed we were still on the road (Or, we were both in the middle of the lake… either way, I wasn’t alone) I got as close as I could. Just ahead of this car was a semi with its hazards on. We followed in a close line, so we didn’t lose one another on this highway of death. We soon came up on an exit and the semi lead us safely to a truck stop, located just off the highway.
As I pulled under the awning, by the gas pump. I shifted the van into park and put my head on the steering wheel. “What. Just. Happened.” It took me a few minutes to catch my breath and regain my composure, as I tried to hide my shaking hands from my already anxious 12-year-old. “What happened, mom? Did we almost get into an accident back there?” she asked. “Yep, but God protected us! Now, who wants a snack?” I asked, trying to down play the situation. Of course, all the kids were just famished because it had been AT LEAST 30 minutes since they’d had lunch.
After grabbing a few snacks, we headed back out to the van where I called my husband, David to ask what the weather was like at home. He said, “It’s sunny. Why?” We were about 45 minutes away from him at the time and I couldn’t even see across the highway. He checked the radar and called me back. It was headed towards home. Which meant, waiting it out could mean driving into it, again. The closest hotel was 20 miles from us. We waited at the truck stop for about an hour. Long enough for the visibility to clear, then got back on the highway.
The roads were still snow covered and the storm hit so fast, the plows couldn’t keep up. I was just thankful I could see the road. We drove about 15 MPH, right along-side the rest of traffic, until finally arriving at the hotel. Thankfully, we got their last available reservation. After getting the kids safely settled in the room, I drove about 2 miles up the street to the nearest Walmart to get some snacks, and swim suits. I decided we may as well make the best of the situation and enjoy the hotel pool.
After several hours in the pool, the kids had finally worn off some of their pent-up energy from sitting at the truck stop for over an hour. We made our way back to our room where kids washed all the chlorine off their pruned fingers and toes, combed their snarled hair, and climbed into bed. They were out within minutes. Not me. I laid there staring at the ceiling. Adrenaline still pumping as I tried to process how we made it safely off that highway. It had to have been God. There was simply no other explanation.
“You lived… to tell about it”
I began asking all the questions I couldn’t seem to make sense of. What if I would have died tonight? Why didn’t I die tonight? Why am I even still here? I heard God whisper, “Because I need you to write. Someday, I will need you to share this story. You lived… to tell about it. Just like all the other storms I’ve brought you through.”
Immediately, I was reminded of the hospital visit from hell, where my husband almost died, twice. I hadn’t thought about it in months. Then I saw my marriage He restored, the opioid addiction He simply took away, the miraculous healing that took place, etc. Then I thought back to the time I first felt called to write. It was well before my situation began to turn around. In the most unclear, confusing, frustrating season, God put a calling on my life that made no sense, yet I couldn’t seem to get away from it.
I didn’t think much about this snowy night after that, but I did decide to take the next steps and finish setting up my blog page. My purpose had never been so clear. God has a way of getting our attention. Fast forward to today. Sitting here wondering what to write about (now that I finally have my blog set up and it’s time to start writing the actual blogs) It all came rushing back to me. “Now. Share that story, now.”
So, to whoever is reading this, and life has just hit you out of nowhere and you’re looking for your place to “land”. You’re gripping the steering wheel with both hands, desperately wanting go get off the road. Dealing with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Wondering if you’re going to make it and how you’ll ever recover.
Know that it is in these moments God shows up in a real, tangible way. Paul said “that I might know Him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings” there is something about Him meeting us in that place of suffering that changes us. It’s where He reveals pieces of His heart you’ve never seen before. It’s where He restores hope. It’s where salvation is found. Where the bigger picture is revealed, and purpose is born.
He is near to the broken hearted. If there is anyone who understands the feeling of suffering – it’s Jesus. If there’s anyone who can meet you on your level of pain – it’s Jesus. If there’s anyone you want walking along side you in the midst of a storm – it’s Jesus.
Amidst all this uncertainty, my “normal” being flipped on its head, my distractions taken away, the noise silenced. I’ve found myself doing a lot of soul searching. I decided I could either look at it as an inconvenience, or as a rare occasion where I get some of my time back. It’s made me reevaluate how I spend it and I’m realizing time was never the issue. The truth is, I make time for what is important to me. It’s only natural to want to ask questions in times like these. Especially during a world-wide pandemic. And it is ok to ask God questions – it is not ok to question God. He sees things we cannot see and none of this came as a surprise to Him. There is a peace that comes to those who truly know God’s character. If God is good, He is good when life is not.
I encourage you to take some time to talk with God, to read His word and find out what it is He’s calling you to during this time. What gifts does He want to stir up within you? What people does he want you to impact? What lessons does He want to teach you? I promise, if you will take this time to search for Him with all your heart, you will find Him in ways you’ve never seen Him before. All the worries and anxieties will fade away and everything you need to get you through this season, will be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
“If you’re still breathing, He’s still working”
It’s hard to live a fulfilled life when we’re so focused on our what if’s. There’s a lot of those right now. Let’s focus on what we know. We know we’ll never be fully fulfilled until we’re walking in our God-given purpose. So, let’s give it to God and watch what He can do in us, and through us. Fully surrendered. If you’re still breathing, He’s still working. If you’re still here, you have a purpose.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 11. For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Recent Comments